Tuesday, May 30, 2006
something random..
MOOD: tired but good..MUSIC: Say That You Don't Care - Drop 'n Harmony
Where have you seen a guy and a girl eat together, guy having salad, girl pigging out on carbs? Opposites? Yup, that's Arjay and me.
The day dragged on so slowly. We had nothing to do, except search the internet for JavaScripts and study them. I blogsurfed (which i've been doing since Monday), and came across some blogs with whom i share the same nick with (either CLUELESS or TIN).
Medyo nakakatuwa lang na may mga iba rin palang pinagdaanan at pinagdadaanan ang mga nangyari at nangyayari sa akin, at pati na rin sa mga kaibigan ko. I shared some of the links to my friends, and some of them even asked if i were the blogger, coz with the entries that they've read, they thought it was about me. Well, i guess there are other CLUELESS people in this world. I thought i'm by myself.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
enrollment and DaVinci..
MOOD: just relaxed..MUSIC: Bakit Ba? - Siakol
I went to school with Ton yesterday to enroll, and before lunch, we were done. I also met up with Irish and Arjay coz we planned to watch The DaVinci Code. Dapat nga, kasama sina Jayson at Augz, e ang kaso, nagcancel sila at the last minute.
The movie was good, although there are some parts in the book that wasn't really depicted in the movie. It makes me wanna read the book again.
I just realized, that two weekends in a row, i had been to the movies. Last Sunday, Ton and i watched Poseidon, while yesterday was another movie trip. I just hope i don't make this a habit. I might not be able to save if this goes on for weeks.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
surprised, really..
MOOD: masaya..MUSIC: Drug Ballad - Eminem
Last night, i had been surprised when Ton suddenly announced that he wants to study in APC. The he goes on telling me that he's scheduled for an entrance exam today. And while Arjay and i were having lunch, i got a text from Pa, saying, Ton had passed the exam, and will be enrolling with me this Saturday.
I wasn't the only one surprised about the turn of events. Updated kasi si Irish sa maraming bagay about me, and that includes stuff about Ton too. She knew that Ton had passed the exam and interview at MaDocs, and also the medical examination last May 16. She also knew that, before MaDocs, Ton wanted to take up Aeronautics in Patts. I could just imagine how suprprised she was too, when i YM-ed her later that afternoon.
Surprises, surprises. Well, i guess this means me watching over my brother (or maybe the other way around?) in school. Thank God for internship. *goofy grin on my face*
Saturday, May 20, 2006
afternoon delight..
MOOD: kinda tired..MUSIC: *television*
I met up with Irish today. Originally, the plan was that, i'll just hand her the longganisa. Pero, napahaba ang kuwentuhan namin. We ended up staying in Jolibee from 11:30 in the morning, until 3 in the afternoon. Then we moved to Shell Select, where we continued talking until half past four.
We talked about a lot of things. We realized that it has been a month since we last saw each other. We had a lot of catching up to do. From our internship, to other people, to our friends, and to everything else that has happened to us lately.
We talked about our IPs, and about our trips back to our repective hometowns. Of course, hindi rin nawala sa usapan namin yung mga moving on dramas namin. I guess, we're both really okay now. No more hurt, and definitely no more bitterness on our part.
Today was a blast. I got full, not only with food, but with a lot of kuwentuhans with Irish. Gaah! I missed her, and of course, same goes with Kai and Rose, and the rest of the gang. Can't wait for our intern lecture so i can see the rest of the gang again.
Friday, May 19, 2006
here comes weekend..
MOOD: pagod na naman..MUSIC: Dry Your Eyes - 3rd Storee
The week passed in a blur. I lost track of the days, and here it is, Friday once again. We made one web application, and run and tested it. I'm now getting the hang of programming. I never thought i'd be able to do this on my own. Well, with a little help from Arjay and our IP of course.
An hour before six, there was a party at the office. All the May celebrants treated everyone to a big, hearty snack. Last Wednesday, the trainees did that, and it was the employees' turn today.
I was kinda full, and didn't have dinner when i got home today. It was a good week. We're falling into a routine already. But just the same, i'm all worked out. Tired, really. I have to pack in, coz I'm meeting Irish tomorrow in school. I have to give her her bilin, longganisa from the province.
Monday, May 15, 2006
just a reunion..
MOOD: still hang-up from the weekend..MUSIC: Alipin - Shamrock
The whole family (including big bro's) had gone to the province for a visit. Actually, it was a planned visit. It was Pa's high school reunion, and he wanted the whole family to go back home with him.
Everyone, except me, coz i still have work, left Manila Thursday afternoon, and were in Aparri, Friday early morning. I was to follow them Friday evening, after work, but i'll have to take the bus.
Arjay took me to the bus station in Cubao after work last Friday, and when i got there, i had this sudden fright that i'm there, all alone, about to travel by myself for twelve hours. I decided to sleep the night away, and when i woke up, i was two hours away from Aparri. I decided to stay up, and before long, i was back home again by Saturday, eight am.
After i got freshened up at my cousin's place, i took off and went to my bestfriend Jedd's house, where i saw him and his family again. Most of the morning was spent visiting with some friends, and a lot of catching up with them. It had been three years since we left the place, and i saw how things have changed, big-time and in a not-so-good way.
Jedd and I had a trip down memory lane, and reminisced about our childhood. Later that day, together with another childhood friend Leah, after renting a movie to watch later that night, we went down to the park and reminisced some more, while munching on fries and burger.
When night fall came, it started to rain, and we hurried back to their place, where we had dinner with more family friends. After which, we went to Leah's house and watched Hide & Seek with the rest of the gang.
While the rest of the family stayed at my cousin's house, I spent the night at Jedd's, since Ton was spending the night there too (Ton's bestfriend is my bestfriend's brother, Wayne). The young ones packed in a little after midnight, but Jedd and i stayed up later for more catching up. It was fun being with him again.
We woke up to a sunny Sunday, and we went to church together. We saw more family friends, and a lot more kumustahans followed, and before we knew it, it was time for us to go back to Manila. We said our goodbyes after lunch, and we were on our way back to the city.
Though it was just a short time, i had enjoyed myself visiting family friends. It was nice looking back at my childhood. And lastly, i feel relieved to face people from the past, again.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
family nite-out..
MOOD: sleepy..MUSIC: Don't Wanna Try - Frankie J
It is Ton's birthday, and the whole family went out for dinner to celebrate. We went to this seafoods place in Sucat and had a foodfest and videoke night. For Ton, it was his best birthday so far. He just got his driver's license. He passed the interview at Manila Doctor's where he's taking up Nursing as a freshman this coming June. Nwei, the day was almost over when i realized that me and my brothers are all wearing blue shirts, although different shades.
With regards to work, it's the third day that our IP wasn't around. He had been at a seminar since Monday. But before that, he had left us with an assignment, make Crystal Reports for a system. Honestly, i had no idea on how to begin making one. I'm still trying to get the hang of doing VB and ASP, and there we were, CLUELESS.
To pass the time away, i downloaded YM Messenger, and installed it to my PC, then configured it to the right settings. I don't know if we're allowed to, but hey, i need it to ask help from my friends. And if ever i get caught, it won't be hard to say, i need them for file transfers, with matching innocent eyes. *grins widely*.
Monday, May 08, 2006
month-sary?
MOOD: melancholic..MUSIC: Nobody - Keith Sweat
It had been three months, and i could say i'm on my way to full recovery. Too soon? I don't know, all i'm sure of is that i'm okay. I'm happy. Though there are times that i look on our past, i no longer pin for him. I'm finally getting over him, and i'm not having a hard time. I made some serious thinking, and weighed every possible angle, and said, there's no use crying anymore.
Crying won't bring him back. Crying won't make every wrong thing that happened, right. Crying won't make him love me again. Crying would no longer do me any good. No more thinking of the what-might-have-been's and the what-could-have-been's.
Yesterday, when i was talking to him on the phone, i searched my heart for any tell-tale signs that i still love him, but somehow, results came out negative. Yeah, i admit, i missed his voice, but hearing it didn't bring back the false hope i once held on to. I've let go. I'm okay.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
a little pamperin'..
MOOD: cool..MUSIC: Cool With you - Jennifer Love Hewitt
I got my left ear pierced. My brother had been nagging about it for two years already, and finally, i gave in. I planned on having both ears pierced, but Ton asked for the other earring to be pierced on his left ear. I gave it to him.
Irish called and told me to turn on the TV to Qtv11. One show was featuring this Mga Pinakamabisang Gamot sa Pusong Sawi. Number 4 had said, 'Pamper yourself'. Meaning, do things for yourself that you've kept putting off. Is it just very timely that i got my ear pierced now, something i've been wanting to do for so long now? I don't know.
Friday, May 05, 2006
just an update..
MOOD: dead tired..MUSIC: People Are People - D' Sound
My internship began four days ago, and i could say everything's going well, so far. But, there had been a change in the line-up. Instead of the three of us (me, Khalaf and Arjay), it will be just me and Arjay in RadixSys for the next six months or so. Khalaf interned at Chinabank instead, and started last April 20.
Our orientation had included being introduced to the main people of Radix, signing of our contracts, reminders of our do's and don't's, and being shown to our work terminals. We got introduced to more people as the day progressed, and we met our IP, Sir Allan. We also found out that we have an allowance, but i'm not divulging how much.. *grins*
Yesterday, we were surprised to know that our IP will just be turning 21 this coming May 27.. imagine, me and Arjay, older than our IP?! Now, i'm thinking, this could pose as a problem in the near future. I really have this tendency to use my age to my advantage, whether on purpose or not. Hmmm. Bad? I don't know, yet.
This morning, Arjay and I went to to Ortigas, to BIR and SSS, to apply for our TINs and SSS numbers. The day was scorching hot, and we had no umbrella to shade us. Nwei, we braved the heat, and finished everything we had to, and got back to the office a little before two in the afternoon.
It was an okay day, though a bit tiring for me. I still need a getting-used-to waking up early in the morning, and staying up and awake for long hours. Com'on people, i'm not a morning person, and i get grouchy sometimes. I have to work on this, fast.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
moving on..
MOOD: relieved?MUSIC: Collide - Howie Day
I think i've finally come to my senses, and realized that it really is time to move on. After evertyhing that happened, i, and some friends, have come to a conclusion that he's not worth it, at all.
To move on, i no longer need to think of all his negativities, unlike what i've told Bhasti before. I once told myself everything will be easier if i thought bad things about him, if i notice every wrong that he does. Now, i no longer have to do that. Everything's clear. He really is not what i thought he was.
I guess i was too was blinded with our so-called relationship or pseudo-relationship or whatever you may call it. I've let my emotions get the better of me. They got in the way of rational thinking. I knew this from the very start, but i guess it just sank in now, that my friends were right after all. I was in for a big hurt.
Yes, i was happy, that's something i can't deny. But all the time? No, i don't think so. I've probably spent a good part of those times wondering what and who i really am to him. I've had long discussions with friends with whom i argued and fought my feelings with. I've had my bouts with jealousy and possessiveness, that i didn't know i was hurting people along the way.
Loving him, something that i don't regret. I just wish i had been more mature with the decisions i made, and with the way i acted and reacted to a lot of things. Bitter? Not really. Why should i, when he gave me lots of good memories that i won't easily forget. I learned a lot from the short term that it had been us. I got to know him well, and i got to know me better. If he ever loved me, i don't think i want to know now. I guess it's enough that i believed him when he said he did.
To all the people i've hurt and caused pain, i'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't know i had been hurting you. Again, I'm sorry.
To all my friends who were there for me, and still are, thank you. In all the ups and downs, thanks for putting up with me. Thanks for being there in the had-been roller-coaster ride of emotions. Thanks for being my support group, my counselling team, my ever-ready-shoulders-to-cry-on, and my emotional rantings' soundboard. Thank you for still giving me reasons to smile, when i felt i had been left with none. Simply, thank you so so so much.
